Honestly, I couldn’t think of a good title for this…
36 days and counting, my friends.
Little by little, time inches forward and soon I’ll be a married man, which is both an exciting and a sobering thought. Despite the fact Alicia and I had dated for so long, and wedding bells were something we had discussed for years, I don’t think the gravity of the whole thing hit me until just recently: Marriage is a union of two souls… Two lives become one… Our life. It can’t be about me anymore, and it can’t be about her. It has to be about what’s best for our future, and, more than likely, the future of our children.
It’s enough to make a drunk man walk in a straight line.
Being responsible was a lesson I never really learned as a kid due to the fact I was always much more interested in building with LEGOs or playing video games. I feel as though I’ve learned a good deal about being responsible over the past few years, but I still have a good ways to go. I’m still an impulsive spender and I have to constantly fight with myself not to spend money. Seriously, you try telling me that buying the next big, “WoW-killing” MMO is a waste of money and I will come up with a number of reasons why you are wrong and investing 50 to 60 dollars is actually a good choice… I guarantee that you will be amply frustrated with me very quickly. It’s not always about video games either, as I have a number of interests (video games are just the best example I can think of right now). I deal with this argument almost daily as Impulse has it out with Reason, and Impulse is a strong contender…
I guess what I am scared of is that I will forget to be responsible. Sometimes it is very hard for me to look beyond the here-and-now and plan for the future. I can be very selfish and prideful, and it has been my downfall in the past. I don’t want to repeat my mistakes, but we are creatures of habit, and habits are hard to break.
Alicia is far more responsible and frugal than I am, which is good, because someone has to have Reason’s back when Impulse sucker-punches him. She has a knack for riding my ass to make sure I get things done (If you are reading this, hun, that’s my nice way of saying you nag =P) so I probably won’t have the chance to revert back to my old ways. We’ve done a good job balancing each other out over the past eight years, so I see no real reason why that should change. I don’t want to have to rely on her to make me do things, though, because she’s not supposed to be my mother.
*sigh*
Anyway… I’m a little more introspective than usual right now. This week has been surprisingly hard for me, and even now I am having some difficulty putting it into words, so I’ll just say this:
R.I.P. Julie… I miss you already.
